No one who has ever been part of a conflict in a church ever wants to repeat the experience. While the Lord is sovereign and uses those situations for the good of His people (Romans 8:28), the pain and trauma of that conflict is intensely distressing and extremely long-lasting in many cases. I am not speaking of the normal disagreements that leaders in a church may have which they work out as a matter of regular relationship. There may be disagreement over a ministry direction or a mundane financial decision which is worked out simply with mature deference to one another and a common concern for Christ to be exalted in the church. The situation I am speaking of is an entrenched and seemingly unsolvable conflict between two leaders in the church, or worse, two sides of leaders now pitted against each other. These situations are shameful to Christ and bring pain to the whole church. Let me give you three reasons for all involved to at least consider bringing outside conflict resolution help to the situation.
- Some leaders may have sinned against each other at such a level that sorting out the offenses may be almost impossible from within. As many will attest, at times the original problem is exacerbated exponentially by sinful responses to one another. Outside help may be able to sort through these issues more objectively.
- Most or all parties may sense some relief at help on the way. Just the lowering of emotional tensions alone may provide some major progress toward reconciliation.
- Once the conflict reaches the level of the whole church, disaster may be imminent. Leaders who continue in long conflicts with no regard for how the church as a whole may be affected ought to consider submitting to outside help if for no other reason but to show responsible compassion to the church members who may be quickly losing faith in their leadership.
While not comprehensive, let me suggest two options for a leadership conflict to pursue.
- Reach out to another local church leadership for help in resolving the conflict. Our own leadership team has been able to provide this help to other churches on occasion and we have seen Christ honored and relationships restored.
- Reach out to Peacemaker Ministries. (www.peacemakerministries.org). Not only do they have books and resources, but they have a proven track record of consulting with individual Christians and with entire churches to work through a conflict resolution situation.
